Start This Convo at The Top

 

The proud papa in me wants to brag about my oldest daughter who has become a leader in her own right. She’s a junior in college and works in the multicultural center at her university. Part of her job is to put on programs that connect African American students to the university and to develop a bond that will connect the university to the black community at large. The past two years she has put on a Natural Hair Night at the university there are vendors and hair experts, a demonstration and a real conversation about people’s experience. The 2019 edition is this week, (Go Nessa!). I’ve heard many of the stories about people wanting to touch your hair or asking silly questions but I hadn’t heard about the Scot twins until that night last year at her Natural Hair Night. For those of you who haven’t heard, in May of 2017, Deanna and Mya Scot were pulled from their school sports teams at Mystic Valley Regional Charter School in Boston and told they weren’t able to attend their prom because of their box braids. According to school officials, their hair style was prohibited because the style was “expensive and could serve as a differentiating factor between students from dissimilar socioeconomic backgrounds, is consistent with our desire to create an educational environment, one that celebrates all that students have in common and minimized material differences and distractions.”

I could be wrong but, is the school saying that box braids make the Scot twins appear to be richer than other kids, resulting in the other kids feeling poorer and inferior? Get this out the way first, their statement is just spin, and a weak attempt at it. The school drafted it to cool the growing public resentment about their decision to dismiss the girls. My second thought is, what happens when kids wear J’s or drive cars to school or heaven forbid one shows up with the new iPhone. Would the school be just as vigilant about economic differences? Unlikely, but social commentary isn’t the point of this article. The point of this is to, at least, try to demonstrate how solid leadership could have avoided this ugly, racially charged situation that definitely left the Deanna and Mya feeling diminished and inferior. Or 12 year old Vanessa Van Dyke of Faith Christian Academy in Belton Texas who was bullied by classmates for her “Frohawk”. Instead of dealing with the bullies, her mom was told by school officials that she had a week to straighten it or cut it or be expelled. Or there is the kid at, get this, Thurgood Marshall Elementary School who was suspended for two weeks because of the product she used in her hair.

Driving this conversation home was a recent conversation I had with my friend, Denise, who told me a story about being given the ultimatum by her boss to change her ‘natural’ hair style or be fired. During our time together she shared her story of being a preferred server in the hotel industry. She was the server who would be called when the big money clients held events at this high end hotel. In preparation for a long planned vacation, she got her hair braided, much like the Scot twins except shorter, it was important to her that her hair met the hotel standard and did not touch her collar. When she arrived to work with her new ‘do, she was met with a puzzled look by her General Manager and the comment, “your hair is different”. The next day she got a call from her Union Rep saying that they needed to meet in the Human Resources office. In that office she was told that her style in fact did not meet the hotel standard and that she would have to leave the premises. She turned and asked her Union Rep for support who responded to her, I’m here to make sure you leave peacefully. Shocked, she left the building and negotiated a four week suspension over her hair.

I’m not going to blast names or make anyone feel spotlighted but as a leader it is your job to make people feel welcomed, valued and able to be their best every day. All of these leaders had a golden opportunity to stand up and grow their entire teams, organization and all the people who populate them. Instead, I’m sure every Jew Fro, Jheri Curl, and ombre walked around feeling insecure, and diminished, feeling as if they might be next. Denise explained that the way people express themselves is a reflection of who they are, its their identity, it means a lot to them and a boss criticizing their expression cuts directly to the core of who they are. When you attack their hair or appearance you’re offending them, the people who love them, their culture, their family and the people they love. Your behavior cuts deep and the trust lost isn’t easily recovered. Not only is trust lost with that employee but also with the people who care about that employee. Instead, the better course of action is your own education.

To be sure, if you’ve seen a picture of me then you know I don’t know a thing about hair, don’t have it, don’t want it. My ignorance puts me in a position to comfortably ask really basic questions without feeling judged. In that way, my ignorance is an asset. So is yours. Also, having three girls in my house gives me a front row seat to the alter of beauty they sit at and it gives me an education that others may not have available to them. Also, getting educated is not just limited to hair, it relates to all types of expression, clothes, jewelry, cultural accents and more. If you want to learn and avoid the avoidable, talk to people, understand their culture and try to get them as individuals. Always look to learn instead of judging, do the difficult thing rather than the easy thing, open yourself to the possibility that you may be wrong and listen. Each of these examples were opportunities if you view them that way. Get educated, grow your people and your whole organization will SOAR!  11

 

 

William A. Brown

February 10, 2019

 

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/black-girls-natural-hair-racism-schools/1953497

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/malden-charter-school-lifts-ban-on-hair-braid-extensions/