Stephen Shelley and the Magic of Motivation

Matthew 13:31-32 tells the parable of the mustard seed: “The kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air can come perch in its branches.” This parable has been broken down numerous times and delivered with more slants than a geometry class. In that spirit, here is one more slant to add to the quiver from a leadership perspective.

In 1996 while coaching football at Roosevelt High (The ‘Velt) in Fresno, I met Stephen Shelley (by way of Vallejo, CA) who happened to live a few blocks from me near the Fresno State campus. We didn’t know each other very well but, since we were going the same way, we decided to carpool. From there blossomed a friendship that lasts to this day. After finishing our stint at The ‘Velt, we moved in different directions, him to acting, modeling, and comedy and me straight into education. Eventually, he came back to education, teaching, counseling and coaching but at first he tried his hand at performing. He held his own on stage, getting ovations from every crowd, and love from celebrities who caught him on stage. One of the biggest personalities, on stage or in person that I ever met, he brings life wherever he goes.

In a conversation with him early in our professional career, he told me he added motivational speaking and coaching to his comedy. He tried to sell me on the power of speaking. At the time I was a doubter, I wasn’t buying that words were enough to get people off of their butts and moving in the right direction. A quiet skeptic about speaking as a career option, I kept moving on in my career. Later in my own career, after struggling to lead, and studying how to be better, I learned that the things a leader says matters a lot to people. It’s at least as meaningful to the people as what the leader does. Your people care what you do, think, and say. With your words you can energize people and motivate them, or you can be a drain on them and diminish their ability and desire to perform. Shelley was correct. In fact, there is a biblical expression that backs it up, ‘death and life are in the power of the tongue’, which means loosely, be careful what you say to people because there will be a real impact. Uplifting or devastating.

There is a chemical explanation that demonstrates the power of your words. When you make someone feel pride or love, the chemicals serotonin and oxytocin are released from the brain and into the blood stream and give that person a good feeling. We are all addicted to this feeling and will repeat actions or work harder to get another hit of that feeling. If you’ve ever seen someone get a compliment and turn red, bow their heads, or retreat a step, then you’ve seen it. If you’ve ever seen someone brought to tears by a kindness or expression of love, or someone speechless on stage during an ovation, then you’ve seen it. They are not acting. If you’ve ever been overcome by that feeling, then you know it’s true. That same feeling can be replicated in your one on one interactions with the people you lead.

As a leader, your words are more powerful than the words of colleagues because of the position you hold. This makes what you say more meaningful to your target. Knowing the power of your words and their impact due to your position, you can be unbelievably influential if you can be meaningful and authentic. Authenticity is a key element, if people believe you are blowing smoke, saying things you don’t mean, or don’t really care, they won’t buy it and it will diminish your influence. It can’t be choreographed or robotic, it has to come from a sincere place. If you’ve ever seen a line for people getting paychecks, you’ve seen this played out. People get their checks, check it, then walk away. The paycheck is a reward for work given to the organization. A monetary reward, yet there is no serotonin or oxytocin rush. That’s because it is a robotic, sterile, procedural process. People do not respond to that. Have a boss show up unexpectedly with a bonus check for an employee who went above the call and see the difference in that employee as well as those who witness the act. Even people who hear about that event will get a good feeling. Uplifting words of gratitude and inspiration are an underutilized form of compensation in every workplace.

In June of 2014, Shelley was diagnosed with cancer. Since then, he has used his platform to inspire and uplift cancer patients in addition to the growing list of people he reaches. In 2016, I asked him to speak to my staff at Davis High School. He touched them with his story and his uplifting message that every kid matters. Afterward, staff members thanked me for bringing him, more than that, he told me that staff members thanked him, offered prayers and shared their stories. That meant the world to him. What this demonstrates is that not only do the targets benefit from an uplifting leader, so does the leader. Those messages from the DHS staff gave Shelley a boost of serotonin and oxytocin. It works for the leader too. When leaders apply the power of words they have the ability to become an organizational super charger. To use the mustard seed metaphor, the seeds are the people, the words are the water, the tree is what people become, and the birds who rest on the tree are the people they support. See your people as mustard seeds, plant them, water them and they will take care of those in their charge. Do that and your organization will SOAR!

 

William A Brown

August 4, 2019

 

https://www.davisenterprise.com/local-news/dhs-guest-tells-staff-they-matter-make-a-difference/

https://www.fresnobee.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/marek-warszawski/article19533150.html

https://www.universitymds.com/new-programs/dan-brown-legacy-fund-helps-brain-tumor-patients/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989_California_Bowl