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Lean Into Discomfort Like Ann and C.P.
Last week while at a mixer, I ran into a published author from the Bay Area who writes and evaluates other professional writers; a peer reviewer. Whenever I meet an accomplished writer in the area of leadership I pounce on the opportunity to ask questions about their inspiration, accomplishments, and tips for ways for me to improve. People who review for professional journals are usually the most knowledgeable as they evaluate the work of other professionals with an eye for scientific validity, and repeatability. Are commonly accepted laws used that can be recreated by other practitioners and consistent results are achieved? That quick conversation inspired me to want to be a better writer, coach, and leader. It also inspired me to step outside the lines and write about something meaningful to me personally that just might insight feelings in readers.
Leadership, and a lack of leadership, is everywhere. Wherever there is an unaddressed problem, there is a leadership void that needs to be filled. Someone has to have the courage to go where others are hesitant to go. That’s what leaders do. In America, there is a divide between communities of color and law enforcement. In every group there are good people and there are bad people; both groups are dominated by good people. When times are tense, good people in each of these communities confront each other. Both sides entrench, defending the good people who make up the majority of each group while pointing to the minority in the other group as justification for their fear. The public sees a lot of blaming, yelling, and victimization, and not much progress made closing the gap.
Ryan Holiday, author of ‘Ego is the Enemy’ points to Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurelius and Zen philosophy when he got ‘The obstacle is the way’ tattooed on his forearm. Marcus Aurelius said, ‘the impediment to action advances the action’, or the obstacle is the way. In Zen philosophy it is said that, ‘the obstacle is the path’ or the hard thing is THE thing. When relations between the two communities intensifies, the difficult thing to do is to talk about it, or even worse, bring others to the table to talk but that is the way. Watching what actually happens is frustrating because it's always the same, people using fear to justify the side they have taken with very little empathy for the other side. The result is predictable, more violence on people of color, brown, black, and blue.
I can hear readers now, ‘What does this mean? How does this relate to leadership?’ Allow me to retort. Leadership is the answer. We have leaders in place to face the obstacle, and do what is difficult, we need them to step up and do it. Be willing to face criticism and opposition and bring the two sides together to talk AND listen. While writing this article my thought team considered what a police chief would have to deal with bringing a cadre of officers to a community to give an empathetic ear to unhappy community members. Criticism? Suspicion from the ranks? Union attacks? Pressure from public officials from above? What would a community leader have to deal with if they tried to bring a group of community members to lend an ear to police officers? They might be called a sellout? Loss of influence in the community? Scruitany from the inside out? The leaders in both communities would face intense scrutiny from all directions. This scrutiny is the obstacle, which is actually the way. As an African American male, people assume they know which side of the discussion I stand. For the most part, they are right. However, if we want to make progress, close the gap, and create supportive relationships, we (myself included) have to lean into the discomfort and do what is difficult.
The Best of Enemies movie did not enjoy the commercial success it deserved. The move was released in April 2019, and tells the story about a community activist, Ann Atwater, who seeks to provide a quality school for the children of her community in racist Durham, North Carolina in 1971. Ann Atwater has a reputation around town as a troublemaker due to her constant agitation for fair housing for the poor. C.P. Ellis is the president of the local KKK, and is her antagonist in the movie. The local colored school is set on fire displacing the school children, and the community is afraid that “those” children will integrate “their” school. The community needs to come up with a solution for the children and the community is divided. Local politicians arrange community meetings led by a moderator but it is quickly understood that both Ann Atwater and C.P. Ellis has to be included for the work to have any credibility. Over time and despite strong opposition from both sides of the community, the two sides begin to see each other and a measure of respect is earned. In the end, the two groups voted along racial lines with C.P. casting the final (deciding) vote for integration. Whites refused to frequent the gas station C.P. owned, Ann Atwater convinced the black community to buy from C.P. and an enduring friendship was born.
Dividing people does not work if you want to build a strong community, organization, family, or any other group. It doesn’t matter if it’s by gender, race, economics, or anything else. Human genomics experts say that humans are all 99.4% the same, giving firm ground to Maya Angelou’s statement that what unites us dominates what divides us. Remember this, the person across the table probably feels the same way that you do. The obstacle is the way, lean into what your discomfort, and SOAR!
William A. Brown
March 15, 2020
https://www.newsweek.com/who-kills-police-officers-315701
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Best_of_Enemies_(2019_film)
