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Keep Your Oar in the Water
Leaders deal with obstacles both inside and outside of their organizations or teams. It doesn’t matter the size of your group, competing agendas, individual abilities, and limited resources cause frustration that needs to be overcome in order to be at your best. It's normal to feel discouraged, not being your best is a choice. In this article, my hope is to demonstrate why you should be at your best at all times irrespective of your challenges. We all face obstacles, expect them and shine anyway. In reflecting on this idea, many stories came to mind that I’ve heard from friends, colleagues I’ve observed, articles I’ve read, and have even experienced myself. It's people playing down to their environment so they don’t stand out and become a target of resentment or hate. One story that stands out in my mind is that of Barry Sanders. He languished for 10 years in an organization that wanted to be successful but did not provide him the support he needed. Barry Sanders gave his best everyday anyway.
As a Dallas Cowboys fan, it’s difficult to admit but I’ll say it here, Barry Sanders is a paragon of giving it your best shot despite your work environment. Sanders was born in July 1968, in Wichita, Kansas and would only grow to 5’8”, much too short to be a successful running back in college, let alone the NFL. He spent three years at Oklahoma State, two backing up Thurman Thomas. His third is possibly the most spectacular single season ever seen in college football, 2,850 yards and 42 touchdowns. That season earned him the #3 pick in the 1989 NFL Draft to the Detroit Lions. In the 80’s, the Detroit Lions were abysmal, only finishing with a winning record twice (9-7 both times), with two playoff appearances and first round exits. In fact, over the 30 years prior to the 1989 draft, the Lions had only been to the playoffs three times. In the 10 years with Barry Sanders, the Lions enjoyed 6 playoff appearances. Drafting Barry Sanders gave the Lions organization and fans reason to hope. Rushing for over 1400 yards as a rookie showed everyone that he was the real deal.
During his time in the NFL, Barry Sanders realized that he could not carry a team to the Super Bowl by himself. He needed to be surrounded by players who could elevate the team to elite status so he took his requests to his superiors, head coach, general manager, owner. He heard all of the right answers but never saw the fruits of their efforts. No blockbuster trades, no big free agent acquisitions, no help. Same result, excellent stats, good team, playoff loss. Barry carried that team season after season as one of the marquee players in the NFL, and the greatest asset the Lions ever had but he would never be surrounded by the kind of talent that would win a super bowl. Because he heard the words but didn’t see the corresponding action, his frustration grew. He was all they had until they didn’t. Barry Sanders retired early, in his prime, gaining over 1400 yards in his final season. He asked to be traded, saying he would return to football but the Lions organization denied his request and that was it. He never played another down of football.
It's hard to summarize a career like his in a short article while leaving space for my view. There is a ton of information, videos, stats, and stories you can review for yourself. In the context of this article, Barry Sanders continued to give his best regardless of the talent he had around him or the support of his superiors. I’ve written in the past about jealousy, insecurity, and competition leading people to undermine leaders. I’m sure many of you have experienced it too. My intention is to show that it's worth it to be your best anyway, and to give you a few strategies on how to do it.
Control your frustrations. There is no space for your frustrations if you want to be successful. Often, your reality doesn’t take the form that you envisioned in your mind. When that happens, it causes stress in the form of frustration. The longer you lament the difference between your vision and your reality, the more intense your frustration grows. As that monster swells, it will influence your thoughts and actions, and the way you are perceived by the people on your team. Henrik Edberg of the positivityblog, offers three steps for effectively dealing with your frustration. 1. Focus on your breathing, 2. Focus on what you can do right now, 3. Appreciate what you do have. Barry Sanders would not have been what he was on the field if he did not leave his frustration in the locker room.
Don’t personalize the behavior of others. Do not take ownership of their behavior, you are not responsible for their misconduct or decisions. It is your job to help your team be successful. I tell the people I coach to ‘Focus on the need, not the deed’. Putting it plainly, do not get involved in their bad behavior, fly above it and focus on what needs to be fixed. Rick Hanson of psychology.com reminds us to “reconstrue” what happened in ways that do not cause us to react in destructive ways. When you take things personally, your judgement is clouded, and your emotions take over. That is not a recipe for success. Barry Sanders did not take a poorly run organization personally, it wasn’t about him, the Lions had been bad for decades. He gave his best in spite of it all.
Your people can succeed with your help. Success at your job may not require you to acquire elite talent or that you make it to the superbowl. Your success is likely to look very different from NFL success. For most of us, we play with the team we have. Most of us have enough talent to be successful. The challenge is to set your team up to be their best. Every individual can be successful if you give them what they need, remove obstacles, and get out of their way. Barry Sanders did all he could to carry that team to a title, he was a good teammate, an excellent ambassador for the team, and was a presence in his community. He was a leader.
In spite of his lack of height, lack of support, and having never even played for a title Barry Sanders is regarded as one of the greatest running backs in NFL history. In the 21 seasons since Barry Sanders’ retirement, the Lions have had only 5 winning seasons including an 0-16 stinker in 2008. During this span they also drafted one of the greatest receivers out of college, Calvin Johnson aka Megatron, who sparkled in the NFL, grew frustrated because he was denied support on the field, and retired early. Your career won’t be as public as a player in the NFL but your challenges will be similar. You will not get your way all of the time and it won’t always be because of your gender, race, religion or anything else. Whatever the actual source, you will need to be your best everyday or be complicit in your own frustration. You can do it even if yours is the only oar in the water. Keep your oar in the water is to say control your frustration, don’t personalize things, stay focused on your success, and you will SOAR!
William A. Brown
June 14, 2020
https://www.positivityblog.com/overcome-frustration/
http://www.psychology.com/articles/?p=316
https://www.pro-football-reference.com
